Catching Feelings
by Jade127
Summary: Addison and Derek a year after their divorce, and what could have been. ADDEK
1. Prologue

Milan, Italy

Addison couldn't sleep. Or it's better to say that she hasn't slept at all. She knows that she should at least get some sleep before her flight later, which is in four hours.

All her things are packed and ready to go. Even the extra pieces of baggage that she has to take with her.

Being in Italy was such a Bliss for Addison. Ever since her divorce got finalized, Italy became her safe haven.

To be honest, she wasn't sure about coming to Italy in the first place. But out of her despair, being in Italy where her brother, Archer lives is the closest to being with family around, especially with her condition then, she needed someone that she can confide with.

First, she thought about taking up Naomi's offer to come work in her practice in LA. She was even positive that she was going to up and leave to go straight to LA as soon as Richard let her go. She wanted a new environment, but with familiar people around.

However, by how it went down during her last few days in Seattle, she just wanted to fly even farther.

And when Archer called her, without even thinking about it, she hopped on the plane heading to Milan.

Laying down on her bed, she was just starting to feel the need to sleep. She might actually get some sleep tonight.

Then, she heard a cry.

And she is wide awake once more.

* * *

Manhattan, New York

Derek has been in New York for a few days now.

He came for his mom's birthday and stayed for a few days. He needed a vacation. But more like he was searching for something. Someone.

It's raining cats and dogs at the moment, but Derek doesn't seem to be bothered by it.

He has been standing at the end of the street from where the brownstone that he once shared with Addison is at.

He cannot seem to make up how he feels. All he knows is that Addison sold the brownstone after the divorce, and she just sent him half of the cheque. He received it months before in Seattle, but he never saw it until a few days ago.

It got piled up with the other mails at his office.

He should just cash it in since he was the one who bought the brownstone in the first place. But he is having mixed feelings.

He wasn't surprised when he found out that Addison sold the Brownstone. He did give it to her during the divorce settlement, and he did make her life a living hell when they were still legally married. Not just during her stay in Seattle, but In New York as well.

It might have taken a while to realize his mistakes.

But he did. He does know. Now that it's too late for him to fix what is broken. Now that it has been a year since the last time that he saw, or even hear from Addison. Now, that he has Meredith and now that he knows how cruel he was to his wife…

Correction…EX-wife.

He doesn't even know where she is. Nobody would tell him, not Naomi, not Savvy, and not even his sisters. But he wasn't even sure if he believes them when they say that they don't know about her whereabouts. He even tried asking Richard knowing that he wouldn't tell him at all.

He wants to apologize to Addison. He doesn't expect her to forgive him, but he wants to try. This time, he really wants to make it work, even as friends. After all, they are Addison and Derek.

He was just stupid enough to forget that.

The rain has calm down, and he decided to go back to his mom's house. But as he walks away from the brownstone, He ripped the cheque into pieces and threw it in the garbage can.

He just couldn't do it. Even when he threw away his marriage.

* * *

End of Prologue.

* * *

Hi! This is going to be my first ever ADDEK fanfic. YES, IT IS ADDEK. The ADDEK fandom needs more writers, so this is my attempt to actually trying, even if I AM A REALLY BAD WRITER. I will be posting Chapter one as soon as I finish it, which is probably tomorrow. But please comment anything that you would like to say, I'll take both harsh and nice comments. And take it into account on how to make this story better.

~Thanks!


	2. Chapter 1

_**I went straight to Richard's office after hearing the news but, I haven't seen her yet. **_

_**"Hey, Richard!" I didn't even bother to knock. **_

_**"Hi, Dr. Shepherd!" It's Patricia, Richards secretary. **_

_**"Patricia, hi, sorry to barge in like that, but is Richard here? It's kind of urgent…" No not really, wait… Yes, it is actually. **_

_**"Uhmm…the chief is out for lunch with a colleague, he should be back soon though in-" **_

_**"How soon? Like 15, 30, an hour? How soon?" I don't care if I cut her off, I just really need to know how soon he'll be here so I can talk to him.**_

_**"Dr. Shepherd, relax. he should be here in about an hour…And I think I know why you're hyped up and bothered, but I'll let the chief talk to you instead…Okay?" says Patricia now looking at me with concern, but also smiling. Kinda?**_

_**Ever since I've worked here in Seattle Grace, I never really got to know Patricia well, she tends to keep to herself and doesn't like to gossip much. She and Bailey are the same. Maybe that's why she is a lot nicer to her than me. **_

_**I nodded. "And Patricia, sorry for cutting you off its jus-" **_

_**"Urgent. I know I heard." she raised her eyebrows. "I understand…and thinking that I know what your question is, then the answer is yes, Dr. Shepherd. She's here."**_

* * *

**I've been listening to the hospital gossips, but hearing her name being mentioned by the nurses made me stop what I'm doing and tuned in their conversation. **

**"Did you hear that Dr. Montgomery is coming back?"**

**"Is she the doctor that everyone was talking about? The one who's going to work on the Felix case?" says Nurse Debbie. **

**I'm sure she couldn't wait to write that on her blog. I rolled my eyes…pesky nurses. But wait… Addison, my Addie? She's coming back? **

**I wanted to find out more, even from the nurse's gossips. This is the latest news that I've heard since…Since I drove her away. But getting a 911 page is my priority for now. **

* * *

**I was in the OR for almost 5 hours. I had to remove a brain tumor from one of my patients, and while waiting for the tissue lab report, I rushed to go to Richard's office. I need to hear it from him. I knew that a doctor is coming for the conjoined twins, but Addison was the last person that I expected to accept the job. She is the best, but she has been MIA for a year. No one knew where she was at, but now coming to think about it, I may be the only one to not know where she is at.**

**Passing by some of the interns, I heard Addison's name again. **

**"Hey! Did you see Addison? She's back" says Alex panting from rushing to deliver the news. **

**"Addison? Like She-Shepherd?" asked Christina. **

**"Montgomery, she's divorced remember?" says Meredith with a tone of annoyance in her voice. **

**I stopped to join their conversation. **

**"She's here? In Seattle Grace?" I asked curiously and eagerly. I saw the look of hurt on her face. I cannot blame her, Meredith and I are having problems, and now and then, our fights involve Addison. **

**Alex looked hesitant to answer at first but he still talked. "Ah…Yeah, I saw her about half an hour ago… She walked right through the Hospital entrance. She even talked to me. She looked great for being gone for a year. She was with the Chief before they went to his office." **

**"Thanks, Alex" I patted his arm and left in a hurry. **

**I heard Meredith call my name as she chased me down the hall. "I'll talk to you later okay. I just gotta go. I'll see you later. Okay." I said an I kissed her on the cheek. **

**It was obligatory I know, but I don't know what's gotten into me. Ever since Addison left, I have been feeling lonely and empty, and I hate to admit this, but I need her too. I care about Meredith, I do love her, but…I'm not sure anymore. **

**I was harsh, even heartless with the words that I uttered towards Addison before, I mean what did she expect from me after finding out that she stayed with Mark, and that she got pregnant and aborted his baby before following me here to Seattle. I still remember that day. **

**I said many hurtful words to her. But after finding out the truth. The whole truth from Mark. I felt guilty and angry with my self. And I'm just really sorry about my actions, that I tried to be better with Meredith, but after everything that happened this year…**

**…I don't even know who I am anymore.**

* * *

**_"Derek, you need to hear me out, I know what Addison did was almost unforgivable especially to me! She terminated her pregnancy, aborted my baby to follow an ass of a husband here in Seattle!" yelled Mark. _**

**_Mark followed me to the attending's lounge. But I just keep brushing him off. What else can he say to me that would forgive him for what he did to me? I trusted him, and Addison but they betrayed me. _**

**_"Oh yeah! well, you and Addison are good together I know I called her Satan but I was wrong, you're not just a manwhore! You are Satan and Addison is Satan's whore!"_**

**_"I understand that you are hurting so I'm gonna let that slide Derek, but did you even know why she stayed with me? no, Do you even know the entire story for what lead to that night? Why she was so upset that she even wanted to have sex with me? Huh? Did you give her a chance to explain?" says Mark. "I know that I loved her Der, I don't deny it, but I also knew that she never loved me, I tried. It tried to make her think that she did because I wanted her to come with me, stay with me, but she was miserable!" _**

**_"Oh yeah? if you know so much care to explain? Exactly what happened back in New York for her to throw away our marriage!"_**

**_"She didn't! YOU DID! You stopped seeing her! You sent me to her as your replacement! You never notice her anymore Derek! Your job became more important to you than your family! You couldn't even be bothered when they call you when she had a miscarriage! She was admitted to the same hospital that you worked at but where were you? You had back to back surgeries! You didn't even bother checking on her. And when she was released from the hospital, who was there to comfort her? ME! I picked up after all of the responsibilities that you should be doing as her husband!" _**

**_I was shocked. Addie had a miscarriage? _**

**_I remember…that was the day when there was a big accident that happened on Manhattan Bridge. There were a lot of casualties, and injured, trauma patients that came in. The hospital was in chaos. He took all of the surgeries, refusing to pass it down to other capable surgeons. He remembered being paged and getting calls from Mark, but he didn't bother to follow up._**

**_He was at the hospital for three days, but the time that he went home, Addison looked well that he didn't even bother asking her what happened. She didn't tell him, either. _**

**_Addison and Mark had been spending even more time afterward then. He didn't question it. He just assumed that Addison has been extra lonely. He remembered thinking that he will make up for his absence soon. And on that night that he wanted to spend time with his wife, he came home early. And saw Mark and Addison on his bed… _**

**_"I never knew…I didn't think…" I stammered. _**

**_"That's the problem with you Derek, you never think about anyone else but yourself! What happened to my best friend? My brother? You have such a big ego now that you drove your wife into sleeping with me. And now, we don't even know where she went to. She's gone!"_**

**_"I… what do you mean she's gone? She has a contract…" _**

**_"I don't know Derek, all I know is that she sent her notice to Richard and left without saying goodbye. But I didn't expect for her to stay here after what you put her through! She came to Seattle to fix her marriage, but what did she get? I hope that you won't do the same to your 12-year-old Derek, especially now. And hey, I guess congratulations." Mark walked away from me. _**

**_I didn't know. I was frozen still in the attending lounge. I'm sure that the rest of the hospital can hear our muffled fights, but Addison. I can't believe she's gone. And I'm sorry. _**

**_Derek stayed there for a while looking back to his actions back in New York, remembering Addison pleading for his attention. And here in Seattle as well. He felt horrible. Even with what he did in prom, he's relationship with Meredith, Mark and his family. He wasn't sure if his family knew about the miscarriage, but that would explain why his sisters took Addison's side even after she slept with Mark. Except for his mom. He knew that she never liked Addison ever since. But now he's on a mission to go talk to Addison. _**

**_He dialed her number but it was out of service. _**

* * *

**I've been waiting patiently outside Richard's office. Okay, not patiently, I've been walking back and forth in the hallway earning gazes from the hospital staffs. **

**They are probably grateful that I am feeding the gossip mill again. Well, not me per se but, the arrival of Addison. She and I used to be a hot topic in this hospital, especially in Nurse Debbie's blog. **

**Patricia offered me to stay in Richard's office, but I didn't take it. I can't stay in a confined area. It's been a year, and I don't want to wait any longer. I saw Richard looking stunned when he saw me. I'm sure by the way I look he knew that I know. But I still need to hear it. See her physically, Even hear her voice. **

**"Is it true? Is Addison, really coming back to work here?" I asked desperately. **

**"No," says Richard. **

**"NO?... No? What do you mean no? But, but…the gossips, Alex. He said that he saw her with you." I didn't expect her to come back did I? I mean, I had my hopes up. **

**"She's only for the Felix conjoined twins, but she is not coming back to work for Seattle Grace." **

**"But she is here in Seattle? Is she here right now which Hotel is she staying at? Oh wait, I know, Archfield, she always stays there." I was ready to leave his office, but Richard stopped me. **

**"Derek, Derek, let her rest first, she just got here. There's a reason why she isn't here in the hospital yet. She is still jet-lagged." He sounded concerned but I can tell that he is also excited to be with her "star surgeon again" **

**"Jet lagged… huh? I guess that's how much I hurt her that she had to leave the country." All of a sudden I didn't want to leave anymore. I heard Richard. I shouldn't barge in her life like that. I'll wait, for a little while longer. **

**I finally took that seat that Patricia offered me earlier. I rubbed my face with my hand. I know I will wait but I can at least ask Richard about how she's been. Or where she's been. **

**"She's well Derek, You know she's… Addison." Richard smiled. She was always like a daughter to him. **

**"Yeah? Are you going to tell me where she's been all this time? I think by now, you know." **

**"She did she told me. During lunch." **

**Figures. Addison was the one that he was with for lunch. **

**"She was in Italy," says Richard. **

**Italy? What was she doing in Italy? And who's in Italy? Hold on, Archer? **

**"That's all that I'm going to tell you, Derek, you can talk to her when you meet her, but leave her alone for now. I know that you really, want to see her, but please." **

**"Okay." Besides I'm content, enough to know that I will see her soon.**

* * *

I know it's horrible but I'm trying my best, PROMISE! I'll try to be better at this. I'm working on the second chapter right now, and hopefully, I can finish it as soon as possible.


End file.
